20 June 2012

Yellowhammer State

Most of you know I have been at a national speech and debate tournament in Colorado Springs. Most of you know I won in Expository. Most of you don't know that was not the pinnacle of my adventure. In fact, the most precious moments in the world are the ones that nobody hears about.

Although I'm saving my favorite tales for another time, this is a list that my dear friend Nathan and I put together of our most memorable moments. Albeit being summarized, abridged, and dramatized, it remains 99% true. Enjoy!

Day 1
-Raymond gets up at 5:00, sneaks out of the hotel, climbs a tree, and watches the sunrise.
-“I lost Raymond to the sunrise.” –Nathan writing a song about it
-Wallowed through a muddy runoff trench steeping in sinking sand under a busy road.
-Raymond tries to pull a Free Willy from the spa into the pool and bashes his head, after getting stuck on the wall.
-Kidnapped the Rutledges on a rugged abandoned cliffside and stole their phone (YEAH. WE MAY OR MAY NOT BE EMBELLISHING A LITTLE BIT HERE)

Day 2
-Got up at 5:30 to climb trees and watch the sunrise
-Went to the kingdom of Christian media Focus on the Family
-Accidentally discovered Paul McCusker’s office and then met Dave Arnold the executive producer of Odyssey.
-Visited Narnia. Bucket list #1, CHECK (kind of).
-Discovered Narnia was a fraud. THIS IS TREASON!!!! Re-instate bucket list #1. Fiddlesticks.
-Suggested inflating prices of shakes to the waitress at Whit’s End (Yeah. It was THAT good.)
-Drank sodas at Wal-Mart and criticized female fashion
-Spent an hour on a twenty minute car ride
-“What’s up?” “My heart rate when I saw you.” – Nathan and John-Luke invent a new pick-up line

Day 3
-“The resolution says that personal freedom ought to be valued above personal freedom.” – Random debater
-“This quote is by Benjamin Freedom.” – Random debater
-“Freedom.” –Random debater
-Nathan got sick.
-“Do you want to know how I got these scars?” – Raymond in a debate round
-Raymond has to borrow Rebecca's makeup to conceal his scars.

Day 4
-Raymond thinks he actually pwned someone in debate. But he actually lost.
-John-Luke pwns in Ultimate Frisbee
-Cracked up in Whit’s End, until Raymond fell off his chair.
-Watched the sunset behind the mountains during a lightning storm

Day 5
-Decided to talk in rhymes all day
-Nathan has Chick-Fil-A for the first time
-Discovered the soda was free. BAHAHAHA!
-“I’m going to kill whoever took the last two crackers.” – John-Luke “John-Luke, suicide is not a good thing.” – Nathan
-Toasted that Raymond would get a girlfriend (and dance with someone besides Micah)
-Raymond stands up on a table and does the hokey-pokey in front of 600+ people
-Raymond accidentally kicks his dance partner in the head while dancing with her (I was inventing a new move. She didn't duck in time. It's okay, I made amends)
-Saw a pickup truck scooting down the train track at 11:30 PM

Day 6
-Raymond breaks in Expos and squanders all his money buying frappes for people
-Raymond, Nathan, and Micah blaze the train tracks in the shrouds of midnight
-Raymond spills iced tea on his shorts. “Now you can lick your shorts and they’ll be flavored!!” John-Luke

Day 7
-Raymond breaks to finals. The Motts break to finals.
-Recorded Adventures in Odyssey kids radio show and got asked to audition
-Climbed a terrifying peak of stone and earth to look upon the valley, ripped off our shirts and gave a battle cry to the heavens. “For freedom, for the sunrise, and for the North!”
-Claimed the peak for Parrhesia (This is our club name)
-Found the slumbering Elf-Woman of the enchanted meadow and put a wreath of flowers in her silky white hair and sung the blessing of Parrhesia (Yes of course this really happened!)
-Raymond wins Expos.

Day 8
-Raymond and Nathan part ways. ‘Tis time to blaze a new adventure.
-Give our farewells to the Hotel to stay with the Picketts.
-Leave instantly to climb Parrhesia Peak again.

Day 9
-Got up to watch the sunrise at the crown of Parrhesia’s great summit for the last time.
-Didn’t get there in time. Drat.
-Took the Cog Railroad up Pike’s Peak, the mountain where America the Beautiful was written.
-Stood on the freezing zenith, gazing into the mists of everlasting light, and loving the world just a little bit more.
-Raymond requests stopping the train halfway down to hike the rest of the way, and gives all the passengers a benediction before he goes.
-Kidnapped the ticket woman and stole her phone.
-Discovered a REAL typewriter at the Picketts and wrote a front-page story for the Daily Planet.
-Lois Lane gets shot in the head by Jack Sparrow.

Day 10
-Got up to watch the sunrise. In time.
-Ate an exquisite breakfast at the Picketts like what one only sees in books.
-Kissed Colorado goodbye.

Believe it or not, this list used to be even longer. You may read a more complete version at Nathan's blog.


  1. Very entertaining! ;) You got to see a lot of sunrises. :) So did you audition or not?

  2. There's a lot of things I could say right now. A lot.

    Things like, "What is wrong with you?" "I am so jealous" "You should be less crazy" "NOT FAIR!" "Did you really...?" or just "!!!!!!!!!!"

    But I'm just going to say, Thank you for enjoying life. It appears you live a beautiful life, and I'm very, very happy for you. Maybe because it inspires me to do so as well. Don't ever stop being crazy!

  3. Tianna: Nay, we have not auditioned yet. But we are planning to. =D

    Ariel: Needless to say Ariel, your way of living inspires me too. Perhaps we shall join up in mutual inspirement and flabbergast the world with awesome. Further up and further in!

    1. Seriously? Wow. Really? ::scratches head:: That's not needless to say. Wow, I didn't know. REALLY????? I'm inspiring???? I'm about to get really excited.

  4. Ahhhh, I wish I had been there, it sounds amazing. Glad you had such an AWESOME time! And thanks for recording it for the rest of us wanna-be's here at home. :)
    Big congrats on first place, and I love the day 3 quotes.
    "The resolutions says that personal freedom ought to be valued over personal freedom" Priceless.

  5. Hahahaha. Why have I not read your blog posts until now.

    I could talk about this list, but I really don't feel like it. I'm just going to continue laughing.