I've always believed in role-play. Reading is no fun unless you read VICARIOUSLY, y'know? This is exactly why I once walked to co-op dressed as Frodo.
I think I caused like three car crashes. The public schoolers got a HUGE kick out of it.
So last June, I got to stay at a hotel in Colorado. It was one those really fancy hotels, because we had hot bagels and yogurt every day.
They also had a swimming pool.
So there I was in the hot tub eating my bagels and yogurt when I had the brilliant idea to pretend I was a graceful Orca Whale. This was my plan of action:
I'm not quite sure how this worked out in my mind.
For one beautiful nanosecond, I was like this:
Then I was like:
Unfortunately I had misjudged how deep four feet actually was.
When I came up, I gushing with blood.
MOM: Raymond, what happened to you!??!
ME: Well, I...I...I was pretending to be a whale.
Worst of all, I had come to Colorado for a SPEECH AND DEBATE TOURNAMENT. That's where you have to dress up in a suit and tie and look perfect. But after my first attempt with makeup, I had given up altogether.
What a stupid invention.
But what can I say? Who doesn't want to be an Orca Whale?