23 September 2012

Summer [Mis]Adventures: Raymond's Rules for Dancing

This may surprise you, but when I was a kid, I was very timid little mouse. Wouldn't do sports, wouldn't learn piano, wouldn't make friends, wouldn't talk. I was thoroughly convinced that girls had cooties and they could kill a man.


I WOULD NEVER TOUCH THE VERMIN, NEVER NEVER NEVER!!!!



So dancing? I was SO above it all. I was a very old soul back then. That is, until I grew up and got younger.
That's when I discovered how ridiculously FUN dancing is.

Listen, I don't care if you have two left feet, there are only four things you need to know when it comes to dancing, of every style, in any situation. Remember these, and you'll bring down the building. This is a no-money-back guarantee.



RAYMOND'S RULES FOR DANCING


1. Passion is key. 

I vaguely remember when I first tried to sashay I actually made a collision into another couple.






Well, it was THEIR fault....


2. Make it a show.



This is a true story. Jared and I killed each other twice that night. It's okay, she's used to us.



3. Don't bother syncing with the music.

At the beginning of summer I went to a graduation after-party. It was VERY late. And VERY dark. And we were all waltzing around for no particular reason to some dumb pop song.











BUT IT WAS TOO LATE! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!




I had already waltzed her off the porch, down the stairs, around the campfire, and out into the cold dank backyard. Did I mention it was late and dark?

It was so romantic!


(there actually wasn't a fountain there. Whatever.)



That is, until we had gone to far to hear the music.








Then we just started cracking up.



4. Be creative.

A while ago, my friend The Cowgirl and I invented a dance move. A very dangerous dance move. It went like this:







Impressive, huh? Neither of us can remember what we called it.

Anyway, last June I was at Nationals in Colorado where they held a Very Loud Party for Homeschoolers. I mean, it was so loud you couldn't even hear the thunderstorm outside. And there were about six hundred people there.

I'm pretty sure this indisputably proves that homeschoolers CAN rock out.


(well, at least we try)



So there I was, boogieing "Sweet Home Alabama" like there was no tomorrow, when I decided it was time to get spunky. Naturally, I divulged a warning.




Unfortunately, she didn't duck in time.






Did she suffer any head injuries? No. I mean, she DID friend me on Facebook...so she must be alright.

The truth is, fellows, you'll never try anything new until you're willing to make a fool out of yourself. And as my friend Lady June Whimsy says,


"If you're going to crash, crash hard."


Stay dangerous, friends.

-The Minstrel Boy


5 comments:

  1. OH my! this was sooooo funny I had to read it twice, I'm a dancer you see have been most of my life. But I have to admit the wilder [and faster] you dance the more fun it is, the young people round here go to contra dancing
    and well it's a group dance that happens to be our favourite, and we decided to spice it up a bit, do the whole thing twice to the music used for one round. .F.U.N. absolute, crazy, fun. I mean what can be better than sailing past a group of people doing it real slow.

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  2. RAYMOND YOU FABULOUS RAYMOND YOU
    Yes.. Im creepin

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  3. Hey! I know that last story! (One of the most memorable dances of my life) Thank you for making the memory of that night 10 times more awesome.

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