07 September 2013

~In Which~ The Minstrel Boy tells a lovely little tale to Christopher Robin

The Minstrel Boy: Time for bed now, Christopher Robin.
Christopher Robin: Mr. Milne lets me go to bed at 8:00. It's only 7:30!
TMB: Well Mr. Milne's not here. Get to bed and I'll tell you a story.
CR: Are you going to tell me how Eeyore got his tail back?
TMB: No. That is strictly Mr. Milne's property, any expansion thereof would be copyright infringement.
CR: Technically I'm copyright infringement too, but whatever.
TMB: Hush now. I'm telling my story.

In a very distant galaxy, there lived a boy. His name was Rockie McDowell.

CR: He looks like you.
TMB: Shut up.
CR: He looks like you at a speech tournament.
TMB: He has blue eyes. There's a difference.
CR: You just wish you had blue eyes.
TMB: That's not true! Anyway, he doesn't look like me.
CR: Whatever. Where did he live?
TMB: A distant planet in the milky way. It was called--
CR: You said it was in a distant galaxy. A very long, long time ago too, I suppose?
TMB: Since when were you such a snoot?
CR: Since Disney.
TMB: You know, I think all this publicity is getting to your head. Where'd your childhood go?
CR: All they do nowadays is mooch off of Pixar movies and sell pink backpacks for six-year-olds with Miley Cyrus's face on it.
TMB: That's a harsh way of putting it, but I can't exactly argue.
CR: My point is made. Get on with the story.
TMB: *Ahem* Rockie McDowell lived on a very far away planet. It was called Planet Mundae. It looked like this:

CR: Planet Mundie?
TMB: No, Planet Mundae. It's pronounced like Monday.
CR: Then why isn't it spelled that way!?
TMB: Because it's Old English.
CR: Oh.
TMB:  This is what it looked like from far away:

Planet Mundae is not exciting.  All they ever do is brush their teeth. All they ever eat is oatmeal, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

CR: Why does he have a balloon?
TMB: I'm getting to that.

It is always cloudy.

There is no fun, there is no sun.
There are no trees, there is no breeze.

It is always wet.

All the Mundaneans carry umbrellas, even though it never rains.

Except for Rockie. He carried a balloon.
CR: Haha, I see what you did there. Mundane-eans.
TMB: Now you're catching the vision.

Rockie was different from the other boys. He would go to the library and come out with dozens of books. He loved books. He would read fantastic stories about strange and lovely things...
CR: What?! The Legend of the Sunny Afternoon? Sandwiches and other Exotic Foods? What's so fantastic about that?
TMB: Exactly. This should give you an idea of just how boring Planet Mundae was.

The other boys thought he was silly. His parents were worried.

"Now there, Rockie," they would tell him. "You know very well there is no such thing as sunny afternoons, or rain, or trees. This world is all there is."

Rockie knew there just HAD to be a world outside of Planet Mundae.

 CR: You know, that reminds me of that quote by C.S. Lewis: ""If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world."
TMB: You're a clever little sucker.

But things were about to change for Rockie. For on the other side of the Milky Way, there lived a girl named Isabelle Merriam Dandelion.

CR: Why did I have a feeling she was going to be a redhead?

She lived on a planet called Planet Impossible. It looks like THIS:

 CR: I didn't know "Amazing" was a sound effect...
TMB: And how sweet a sound it is.

On Planet Impossible there are thunderstorms, sunshine, and purple clouds. People there eat dinosaur eggs for breakfast. It's very dangerous.

To travel, they hitch-hike on tornadoes.

 CR: But they'll have no idea where they're going!
TMB: Exactly. This should give you an idea of just how exciting Planet Impossible is.

Isabelle was a very ordinary girl. She helped her mother and took care of the younger ones. Her family lived in the wildflower meadow. She was very happy.

CR: You stopped coloring them.
TMB: You try using acrylics.

And so it happened that for the first time in 250 million years, the the orbits of Planet Mundae and Planet Impossible began to draw closer to each other....

And closer...

and CLOSER....

 Rockie was walking to school one morning when an enormous shadow passed over him.

He looked up....

There was Planet Impossible, bursting through the clouds and rolling past, right above Planet Mundae!!


 As Rockie stared up in wonder, he saw a girl. That girl was Isabelle. Just at that moment she looked up. She saw Rockie.

Without knowing it, Rockie let go of his balloon. It sailed up, up, up...

And down, down down....

Christopher Robin: Then what!?
The Minstrel Boy: [smiling] Then what. [turns out lights]
Christopher Robin: What happened to Rockie? Did he get to live with Isabelle on Planet Impossible?
The Minstrel Boy: Maybe.
Christopher Robin: You know, I kinda feel like this is some jacked up metaphor for your life.
The Minstrel Boy: It is.
Christopher Robin: I like it.
The Minstrel Boy: Me too.
Christopher Robin: When do you start school?
The Minstrel Boy: September 23rd. I'll be pretty busy.  Speech and debate, music theory, pre-calc, chemistry, Chinese, history...it's a heavy load.
Christopher Robin: You'll come back, right, and finish the story?
The Minstrel Boy: Of course. As long as you promise to never grow up.
Christopher Robin: Don't worry. I'll be here.
The Minstrel Boy: Goodnight, Christopher Robin.
Christopher Robin: Goodnight, Minstrel Boy.



  1. Yeah, I'm going to continue to say we're siblings. Because in some alternate universe I'm a proud sister because my brother is a writing and illustrating genius.

    This is Bibs by the way. Not some weird random creep who want to be your sister.

  2. You continue to amaze me.... I love this! I'm trying to think of how I can use your talents for First Impressions... ;) Maybe you can draw illustrations for something. hmmm. Oooh, a kids book version of it. That would be awesome! We'll have to brainstorm...


    2. You should! I'm sure you have a story you could use somewhere in your head! Use createspace.com :)